


It's Real with him!

by hbub1201



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Drabbles, Lot's of Talk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 16:01:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hbub1201/pseuds/hbub1201
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So I'm a tad impatient for the week ahead and also scared for when it does finally get here. I know nothing about the trauma and devastation of what the characters are going through so I didn't want to do them an injustice, so its kinda just about there relationship. I suppose it's set for the spoiler where Aaron feels like Robert doubts him so Robert is scared he's lost him forever.</p><p>Was gonna right further but time ran away with me and so I thought I'd post what Ive got so far to test the waters I suppose :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Real with him!

Robert was barely listening anymore. He was aware of the frantic voices behind him, the angry shouting of Adam and the desperate pleading of Victoria, but the words they were uttering couldn't get through the fog that was clouding his brain. Andy had come in shortly after the shouting had started, this Robert was aware of but had yet to acknowledge, content as he seemingly was just to stare into the distance infront of his misted eyes, his back to the world and all of its arguments.

Thats right, Victoria had arranged a lunch for today hadn't she. Andy must be here for that. Diane had called to say she wasn't feeling up to it, finally acknowledging that she can't be as active as she used to be. No wait, she hadn't needed to call, Robert had been at the pub, she'd told him in person that she wouldn't be coming. Had he even passed on the message?

Robert barely moved as he desperately tried to process the barrage of thoughts and memories jumbled at the front of his mind.

"Are you even surprised?" He heard his brother interject as Adam continued to yell at him and Victoria kept up her pleading.

"Andy..." His little sister warned, or was she pleading to him too? Not that it mattered, the voices didn't abate, not the ones occupying the outside world, nor the ones cluttering up Roberts mind.

How did he get back here? He'd been at the pub! He'd rushed down the stairs, desperate and panting, but angry all the same, running from someone. Or was he running toward someone? But he found Diane instead, or rather she found him. She'd beckoned him into the living room, giving apologies and explanations that Robert was only half listening to.

There had been a bang. A door slamming so loud it shocked Diane to silence and awoke Robert from his haze, if only temporarily as now the fog was back and so much worse. 

It had been Chas, crashing through the back door with a purpose that couldn't mean anything good. She threw open the door to living room and zeroed immediately in on her target. Such anger and hatred, overflowing rage that spewed accusations and demands that Robert couldn't distinguish but didn't really need to. Chas didn't need him to hear her, she just needed to say the words.

But then Diane was involved, softer perhaps but still asking questions he couldn't answer so he'd turned around and walked out without a word. He marched blindly from his stepmothers home to his sisters, ignoring everything but the sensation of putting one foot in front of the other in harsh and repeated strides. Hadn't he been following someone before Diane interrupted his route-march to the door?

News had spread, of course, and by the time he'd arrived a Victorias, early for lunch but too late for explanations, the fan had been well and truly hit. Adam was on him in seconds, words as vicious as Chas', not even remotely held back by his stricken looking wife by his side. 

Still Robert said nothing, still he processed even less. Why had he even gone out in the first place. Lunch was at Victoria's place yet he'd been at the pub.

"There's no point Vic," Andy said now, stern and matter-of-fact, sounding physically closer yet somehow further away than ever before. "You'll not get anything out of him. He does whatever he wants and screw how it affects everyone else."

"Robert?" She was all but crying now, her hand clutching gently at his shoulder. How long had that touch been there? "Please," she begged, "Just talk to me?"

But he just continued his staring contest with the wall, not even able to shrug off her, at present, unwelcome touch. He'd been at the pub, his brain supplied again.

"The silent treatment?" Adam scoffed incredulously, "Really?"

Still nothing.

The Barton boy growled as he threw himself toward the other man, held back only by a weary Andy. "Do you even care? Or are you happy now? Finally driven him off, now you get to forget your little affair ever happened."

Robert flinched then, not at the harsh tone, or the threat they it carried. He'd been at the pub, his brain repeated bitterly. 

"Aaron's well shot of you mate!" His best friend yelled, flailing fists being held back from making contact.

Suddenly all energy and fight left him, Robert couldn't even bring himself to raise his hand to brush away the tear that threatened to fall from his solemn eyes. He'd been with Aaron, he finally acknowledged.

 

-x-

 

He'd been there for all of it. Out of his depth, desperate and scared, but he'd been there and he'd been determined. Resolute to make sure Aaron knew he was not alone. And it had worked. He was so sure it had worked, he'd seen it, minute but there. How Aaron had relaxed, reluctantly accepting his help and what small comfort he could bring. He'd tried so hard, unsure at every turn of what the right thing to do was but trudging on regardless and following his instinct and Aaron's pleas. 

He'd gone to the pub because Aaron was back there and Robert needed to know he was OK. He'd found out that Robert had scared Gordon off and for the first time in months he'd let the anger slip away and allowed himself to simply be grateful. Glad for the support, or the belief in him, Robert wasn't sure but Aaron had been softer with him, not tender but not stern and he'd been so proud of the progress that he honestly thought everything would be OK.

But, naturally, life and circumstance had interfered again, in the form of a very angry Chas, who had plowed into the room demanding to know what was Robert's problem. Was he that selfish, that spoilt, that he'd ruined everything they could have built with Gordon just so Diane might sell the pub to him after all. 

Aaron had looked up then, from where he was slumped on the sofa, he'd looked straight into Robert's eyes and the emotions running through his tired orbs broke Robert's heart. It was like he'd just had an epithany, like he'd just realised that it may not have been about him at all, that Robert may have been using him and his weakness as a way to again further himself and his own agenda. Robert wanted to drop to his knees then in front of the other man and tell him everything, tell him it wasn't true, tell him he only ever wanted the pub so he could be close to him but he'd prefer the promise of what they had now over forced proximity any day. He wanted to tell Aaron that he was worth the world in Roberts eyes and that from the moment he'd walked into that portacabin and saw him so obviously hurting all Robert had thought about was making things better for him.

But it was Chas whose voice continued to fill the room. First berating Robert for being so power hungry that he had to try to force his way into their lives even though he so clearly wasn't wanted. Then she turned her attention to her son, asking how he could be so stupid. Fresh from her own heartbreak and humiliation at being dumped by Gordon, Chas let rip into Aaron about him being a fool for letting Robert back in, giving him that power. Pushing every button he knew the younger man had until he could take it no more and he'd turned boldly to face the enraged woman and told her to back off.

But Chas refused to back down, instead she stared straight into Roberts eyes as the Sugden brother yelled abuse right back. Trying so hard not to betray Aarons secret but determined defend him anyway way he could, until finally all of the shouting had gotten too much and Aaron had stomped out of the room faster than either of the other occupants could process. It was Robert who recovered first, chasing after Aaron as quickly as he could move.

They'd argued. It had been bitter and brutal and everything that their arguments always were. Aaron had questioned Roberts motives and his faith in him, in his belief in what Aaron had confided. Robert had been so scared of where this was going that he let hurt win out and retorted that he'd done nothing but support him for days and that if he had a problem he should take it up with his family. Aaron had left, Robert had followed, Diane had come between them and Robert had welcomed the distraction.

Then Chas had come back from chasing after her son with news of his departure and Robert had left the pub.

 

-x-

 

"Just go after him?" Victoria's voice pierced his thoughts now. Quiet but authoritative.

She was a clever one, his sister. She'd known from the beginning that this thing between him and Aaron was real, was strong, and she's seen the tear Robert had let fall as her husband and there brother hurled insults in the background.

"I can't Vic," Robert sighed, finally acknowledging the world again.

"Why not?" Adam scoffed aggressively, "You chased after Chrissie pretty hard for that 'relationship'," he sneered, "All the while screwing my best mate on the side."

"It's not the same," Robert protested before he could stop himself.

"No, because you loved her!" Adam bellowed sarcastically, "Aaron was just a bit of fun right?"

"Whatever, mate, just... You know me so well right?" He half-heartedly defended.

"I know your kind!" The stubbled man shouted back, the aggression and the venom shocking every one but Robert, who was tragically used to that tone by now.

"Adam!" Victoria shouted back her own warning.

"Vic, it's fine," Rober announced then, desperate for an end to this conversation even if it meant being the loser.

"Damn right its fine," Adam scorned in retort, "I don't need you to defend me mate. Aaron's the victim here, not you."

"I don't think he'd like it very much, being called a victim," Robert snarked back. Lashing out against his will at the insinuation that once again he'd hurt the troubled man, no matter how true the accusation is.

"Cause you know him so well!" Another sarcastic comment veiled in hatred.

Robert didn't say anything to this, he didn't want to carry on this conversation, the thoughts were bounding around his head as it was, he didn't need them verbalised for the world to hear as well. Instead he sagged further into his seat and tried to refocus his eyes onto the wall in front.

"Rob..." Victoria pleaded, not wanting to lose her brother to the silence again.

"Victoria," Robert pleaded back, "Just don't, OK?" His voice was threatening to show far more emotion than he was comfortable with.

"Yeah babe, leave him," Adam piped up again. "He's just gonna do whatever's best for himself anyway."

"He's letting the man he loves leave without a fight, how is that what's best for himself?"

Robert would have scoffed at the notion of 'without a fight' when in actuallity fighting was all they did, in fact it was the latest fight that brought about Aaron's leaving. But before he could think too deeply about that, Adam was adding his next barb.

"HA!" The younger man blurted out, "Love?" He scoffed. "He doesn't love Aaron, he doesn't love anyone. Doesn't know what love is!"

"Then why risk it?" Victoria yelled back, shouting as loud as her husband now, obviously letting her own anger win through. At least, until she turned back to Robert and her face softened as she continued. "I mean, you had everything with Chrissie, you had the money, the flash car, the big house... Why risk that for an affair with Aaron if you didn't love him?"

"Because he didn't love her either!" Adam answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"It still doesn't make sense," The sugden sister argued desperately. "Why did you let it go so far?"

"Please Vic," Robert asked tiredly, "Just forget about it."

"No!" She shouted in frustration, "I love you Rob, and I wanna hel-"

"Then let it go!" Robert shouted back, jumping up from his chair and turning to face his sister.

"NO!" She yelled back just as aggressively, not even flinching. "Rob, there is more to this than you're letting on... Just talk to me!"

Robert stared his sister down, watching her try to control her rapid breathing. The fight left him at the sight of sincerety in her eyes. "I can't..." He muttered, half hoping she wouldn't hear.

She took a steady step forward to once again rest her hand on his shoulder. "Robert please," she all but whispered, "I'm you're sister, just let me in." She urged for what felt like the hundredth time but for what she knew wouldn't be the last.

"Oh, just forget Vic," Andy finally interjected, "He's not worth it!"

"No..." Victoria protested again, not looking away from Robert as she squeezed his shoulder encouragingly and continued. "Rob, talk to me."

Silence, no movement from the man who'se shoulder wanted to crumble beneath her touch. "Robe-"

"I can't!" He shouted again, resolute.

"Why not?" His sister asked back.

"Because..." He exhaled, "Vic I just can't. Please. Just drop it."

The two continued to look into each others eyes. Victoria trying to size up her brothers, as if she could read all of the secrets he held so close to his chest if she could just look deep enough into his deep blue eyes, Robert trying to will her to stop searching for answers he didn't want to give. Andy and Adam were watching with matching scowls, waiting for the good natured girl to finally give up and see what they all saw. It was a long running and very public hatred that Andy had for his brother but Adams anger stemmed solely from the love he held for his best friend, who, as far as he knew from Chas, had been betrayed once again by the blond standing desperately in front of him.

"Ya know what... Fine!" Vic shouted suddenly, balling her hands into fists and drawing her mouth into a fierce frown. "Just do whatever you want, because they are right... Aaron does deserve better!" Robert closed his eyes and willed whatever emotions threatening to break through onto his face to stayed behind his mask, unwilling as he was to show weakness in front of the two men staring angrily at him. "Aaron deserves to know he's loved... I mean REALLY loved, not just some runner up prize because Chrissie wouldn't take you back!"

Victoria took another threatening step toward her silent brother, whose eyes were still closed and whose face was tilted to the floor. "Jesus," she continued, when her brother made no move to defend himself, "I actually you had that in you. I actually believed you could be good for him," she scoffed humerlessly. "Everyone in this village hates you and I used to feel sorry for them, because they didn't get to see the real you! The brilliant you that I see, that I thought you'd let Aaron see. But maybe it is me that's wrong and you really are just a selfish bully who uses people then chucks them away when they're done being of use!"

"That's me Vic," Robert replied forlornly. "Took you longer than most but you got there in the end."

Tears were welling in Victoria's eyes as she lloked into the hatred her brother had for himself in that moment. "Well I'm sorry," she uttered softly, "But I don't buy it." All anger was gone from her now as she refused to give up the memories of all the goodness she'd seen in her big brother.

"Vic-"

"I know you Robert," she affirmed, "And Aaron obviously does too or he wouldn't have stuck around so long."

"That's just it sis," Robert muttered back before he could stop himself, spurred on by the mentioned of the other mans name, "He knows me..."

"What?" She asked back, startled that he'd spoken at all.

"Look, forget it OK. He left. It's better this way." Robert tried in vein to back track, to put an end to the conversation so he could go up to his room and ignore the world until the pain in his chest subsided just a little.

In the corner of the room Adam had calmed down enough to hear Robert's words, or more hear the tone with which he spoke. The way he carried himself and the emotion evident on the other mans face. For the first time he let himself actually study the taller man and he chewed at the corner of his lip as he started to wonder if perhaps there was a reason Aaron kept going back after all. If, perhaps, it wasn't as cut and dry as the rest of the Dingle clan had painted it. His thoughts were interrupted by his frustrated wife.

"For who?" She screamed, "For you? You've been moping around here for months, since you lost him the first time!" Her brother didn't reply, just looked back to the floor with furrowed brows, so she continued to push. "Ro-"

"For him!" Robert interrupted desperately. "It's better for him!"

"How very selfless of you," Andy mocked impatiently.

"How is it better for either of you? You love each other?" Victoria questioned again.

"Him and Chrissie loved each other apparently, look how that ended."

"Just shut up Andy!" His sister finally snapped. "Leave if you're not gonna help!"

"Why should I help him?" The oldest amongst them spat back in disgust. "He's made his choice, so has Aaron."

"Only because Aaron doesn't know how he really feels," she retorted back to her dark-haired brother, before turning back to Robert and speaking softly again. "You've gotta talk to him Rob."

"No," was his only response.

"Why?"

"Because he's an idiot!" Andy shouted back  
"Just shut up already!" Victoria yelled in response.  
"Why, he's got a point!" Adam interrupted.  
"Urgh, just sto-"

"Because I love him!" Robert finally shouted, all at once to overcome with the grief he'd been trying to hold in since the second Aaron had walked out on him again. Or more likely, since the second the other boy had first looked up at his moters words with doubt in his eyes. Robert knows now that he's lost Aaron for good and it feels like a clamp is tightening around his insides and knotting more and more with every breath, with every second he gets further from the troubled mechanic. He needed the noise to stop, the shouting that had gotten so loud no one had noticed the door being clicked open, only to be stopped in its progress at the sound of Roberts voice and the words he'd shouted with such conviction. The Sugden man just needed everyone to leave so he could just cry and grieve and break down, just let everything out before it envelops him whole.

A stunned silence followed that had Adam and Victoria speechless. Andy obviously wasn't convinced, but Adam looked to be seriously considering the other man for any sign of a lie.

"Wha-"

"I love him Vic," Robert continued before she could talk and interrupt his confession long enough for him to back out. He spoke to her and only her because this was a weakness he was admitting to, a vulnerability and he couldn't be vulnerable in front of Andy or Adam. "It's not the same as with Chrissie, or Katie, or any of the other people I thought I was in love with. It was never real with them." He confirmed solemnly.

Victoria resisted the urge to place her hand back on his shoulder, sensing he wouldn't actually appreciate the touch right now, so instead she willed her brother on with her kind and encouraging eyes. Adam, too, had softened, finally being given a chance to understand this thing between Robert and Aaron, hoping it was two sided after all, so that no matter how it ended at least Aaron hadn't been led along for no reason but sport. Andy snarled at the mention of his deceased wife, but other than that showed no emotion or opinion so Robert took another deep breath and raised his eyes to look into his sisters as he continued.

"I could talk them round," he explained honestly, "Whenever I screwed up or we fought, I could turn on the charm and the flattery and I could win them round, because it was all just another part of the show. Of giving them what they wanted. I'm good at that, at putting on that show."

The sincerety in his voice shocked Adam as he watched the composed man in front of him become more and more lost with every word, knowing it was all against his will but finding himself begrudgingly respecting the man for carrying on anyway.

"But it can't be like that with Aaron," he all but whispered, unable to stop the odd stray tear from tracing a trail down his cheek now. "I tried to keep it like that, after we first started. I really tried to keep it simple, no strings, but it got so intense so quick and I didn't even see it until it was too late. I love him Vic, so much and I can't put on an act with Aaron, I've tried so hard, but I just can't."

"But that's good," she implored back.

Robert scoffed at her optimistic naivity before smiling sadly and continuing. "No, it isn't," he argued. "Don't you see Vic. It's not every one else that's wrong about me! I'm not a good person. I can be your brother because I know how to do that, I know how to play that part too and I love you enough to want to be good at it. But this thing with Aaron, it's..."

"It's what?" Robert was shocked by the calm in Adam's voice as he urged him forward after a few moments of stumbling for the right words. Adam wasn't judging anymore, he wasn't angry, he just needed to know.

"I don't know OK? It's too easy, or it's too hard, or it's just too damn important..." The businessman squirmed, frustrated and not knowing how to move forward, how to explain

"So tell him that?" Victoria suggested softly.

"I can't Vic, I ca-"

"Why not?"

"Because he deserves better," the blond man growled softly, angry but not at anyone but himself. "Because there is no act with Aaron. He just gets me and I am not a good person. With Chrissie, or with anyone else, if we argue then I can take a breath and smile and make every thing alright, I can lie and pretend and tell them every thing they want to hear, but with Aaron... Jesus Christ, some of the things I've said to him because I just can't stop myself. I lash out because he makes me feel stuff I don't wanna feel. And I can't fix it now because I know it will happen again. The next time we fight and I get scared that I'm gonna lose him, I'll lash out again and I'll hurt him even more because that's what I do when I'm vulnerable. I do whatever it takes to win back control, and Aaron is my only weakness."

"Ro-"

"No, he deserves better than that Vic, you know he does."

"Shouldn't that be his choice?" All eyes shot to Adam then as he spoke, not maliciously or with any judgement, just stating a simple fact.

"And if he chooses to walk away?" Robert asked then, wanting to look to his sister as he showed his deepest fears, but unable to stop himself from looking to the best friend of the man he loves, like he'll know all of the answers. "If I lay it all out for him and it's not enough. If I show him the real me and I'm not enough. What if I really am unlovable?"

"Hate to break it to ya mate, but he already knows the real you, and apparently he lov-"

"He did love me once, but the things I did, how far I pushed..."

"Look, no offence Robert mate, but doesn't he at least deserve to know that it wasn't all for nothing. That you loved him too?"

"OK," Robert retorted, taking a step toward Adam, turning to face him fully now, confidently. "What if he does forgive me? What if he takes me back, gives me one more chance and then I hurt him again, break him down like I did before."

"You won't though," Victoria piped up again, finally brushing her brothers shoulder like she'd been wanting to do from the minute he started speaking honestly. "You know what it's like to lose him now... Really lose him." She added when she saw Robert about to argue her point.

"Which just means I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I don't lose him again."

"With any one else, that would be a good thing," Victoria pointed out light-heartedly, trying to ease the tension in Robert's shoulders.

"I'm not every one else," was his mumbled reply.

"Maybe that should stop being looked at as such a bad thing," she asserted sternly, looking softlt at Robert but then turned to raise her eyebrows at Andy, who was scoffing and tutting with every word said. She then turned to watch Adam as he slowly nodded his head in contemplation.

A silence once again settled over the room, with Andy all but pouting in the corner as the wedded couple seemed to have some sort of secret conversation between there eyes that both were apparently trying to get Robert to join in on if the pointed looks were anything to go by.

"Fuuuuuuuck!" The blond exhaled loudly, running his hands down his face, "I feel lie I can't breath!" He gasped, damned with all notions of keeping up appearances as fresh tears collected in his eyes.

"Diane thinks you're lost," Vic spoke sympathetically.

Robert huffed out a strained laugh, "The irony there being that for the first time in my life I know exactly what I want."

"So go get it," another muffled laugh from her troubled brother. "At least try," she prompted further. And great, the silence was back. Victoria huffed impatiently before letting her mind wander to simpler times "You remember when we were kids?" She laughed.

"Probably gonna need to be a bit more specific there sis," Robert retorted without pause.

"When I first discover Princes and I wanted so badly to be the Princess."

Robert laughed a little more genuine then, remembering a time when a young Victoria bounded about the house waving a toilet brush he'd told her was a magic wand.

"You wanted to live in a pink castle and have 12 children," he smiled back.

"Yeah," Vic scoffed matter-of-factly, "One for each of my favourite My Little Ponies!"

"And the monkey butlers?" He asked dubiously, to which Adam laughed out loud at his wifes scandalised expression.

"Shut up," not her best defense she would admit, "My point is..." She countinued, eager to move on from her childhood fantasies. "Do you remember what you sad to me after the boy I got my first crush on turned me down so he could play Blind Man's Bluff with that skank who's dad owned that huge manor house."

Rober smiled again at the memory of a broken hearted Victoria snotting sobs into his sleeve. "Yeah, I asked you if you wanted to burn the place down and pin it on that heart breaking little shit."

Adam snorted another laugh and Vic rolled her eyes. "Dad and Andy thought it was cute that I'd had my first crush," she ploughed on, ignoring Robert's unhelpful input.. "But I was devastated."

"I know," Robert joked back, "You didn't even wanna come down for dinner, that's when I knew something was really wrong!"

"Whatever, make your jokes," Victoria said, unable to surpress her own fond smile, "but while everyone else was laughing and congratulating me on my first steps to being a 'proper little lady'," she said, raising her hands in air quotes, prompting Robert to roll his eyes at her dramatics and Adam to laugh out loud again, even Andy allowed his lips to twitch into a smile. "You came up to my room and listened as I cried for hours about how I was never gonna love, ever, again. Then you hugged me," she continued, getting serious again but keeping her warm smile, "And told me that of course I'd love again, and that one day it'd be with someone who loved me back enough that I'd finally get to be the Princess."

"Wow, you have a really detailed memory." Robert joked half-heartedly.

"Uh huh," his sister smiled back, "And do you know what you said to me when I asked how you knew he'd love me back?"

"Uh, cause I'd burn his house down too, if he didn't?"

Victoria rolled her eyes again but continued with her smile in place. "You said, 'Of course he'd love me back, why wouldn't he? No one else could love him like I could so why would he settle for less?'"

Robert nodded in acknowledgement but bowed his head again, the seriousness of his situation with the man he loved sinking back in and the despair creeping back to the surface.

"Rob," Vic said softly, squeezing his shoulder and lowering her head to catch his gaze again, "No one else can love Aaron like you do. He deserves better than to have to settle for less."

Another couple of errant tears ran down the blond's tired cheeks as he muttered out a weak attempt at a mocking "Smart ass!"

"Just tell him Rob," she implored again, "Let him decide."

All eyes shot to the door then as it got pushed sharply open to reveal an eavesdropping newcomer.

Chas pushed open the door with Aaron's phone held firmly in her raised hand, "He left without this," she interrupted. "Supposed he wanted a clean break from the village, didn't trust himself no t use it. Still, can't blame the poor lad though, what he's been through."

Robert sagged at the thought of not even being able to leave a message for the other man, just something to let him now he was thinking of him, no one way to do what he'd finally decided he needed to do and tell the man he loved the truth about how he felt and what he wanted. To tell him he'd wait for the rest of his life if that was what it took for Aaron to forgive him.

"Look, Chas," he all but pleaded, raising his own hands in surrender, for once not wanting to fight with the woman who hated him so much. At least one person seemed thrilled with this addition though, as Robert caught a glimpse of his brother smiling in the corner of the room. "I kno-"

"You know what I did after you and my son had yet another fight that ended with him so upset he stormed out of his own house?" Chas interrupted sternly.

Robert dropped his head and sighed, unable to even get out a feeble 'no' before Chas had started speaking again.

"I went after him, to pick up the pieces again," she all but spat. "Only you know what happened when I tried to tell him that you weren't worth it?"

Robert didn't even bother to shake his head no, instead he looked up into the furious womans eyes and listened for what came next.

"I got told to butt out," she scoffed, "Nothing unusual there... But this time was a bit different." She muttered almost sadly. "It seems that I've let my only son, who I love more than anything in this world, down again, without even realising he needed me. It also seems that Paddy let him down to. In fact," she said ferociously, "It seems the only person who didn't let him down was you!"

Victoria's head shot from looking sympathetically at her brother to looking confused at Chas. Adam also stared cautiously at his best friends mum, whilst Andy lost his smile completely and his face returned to anger. Robert didn't blink but couldn't help the softening of his features at the mention that for once he may have done something right for Aaron.

"It seems when he needed someone most it was you who was there for him," she all but whispered now, ashamed that it hadn't been her who helped him through whatever it was that he was working through now.

"I had to listen as my son told me that you..." She growled, pointing a finger solely at Robert, "Who I honestly believed was the worst thing to ever happen to him, in that last few days has actually been the best. At least that's how Aaron sees it."

Robert visibly sank then, overwelmed by the thought of Aaron saying that about him, after everything he had put the other man through. He had to see, suddenly nothing else matter in the world but getting to Aaron, telling him everything and taking each day as it comes until he can finally win back the man he loves.

"Where is he?" Robert asked desperately, breathing heavy as he willed Chas to see the honesty in his eyes. 

"See, all I want is for my baby to be happy," the landlady continued, ignoring Robert ever having spoke, "And I was so convinced that that couldn't happen with you, that you would only ever use him and hurt and break him when he stopped being useful to you."

Robert slumped again, the pain in his chest intensifying in the knowledge that he deserved every bad assumption she had of him. 

"But now I find myself hoping that everything I just heard you say was real, because my son loves you and he deserves to be loved back fully and completely."

Robert gasped then, his heart stuttering erratically at her words, of course he still doubted them, would never stop doubting them until he heard it from Aaron himself, but to have his mum say those words to him made Robert feel both more alive and more in pain at the distance between them.

"Where is he Chas?" He pleaded again, eyes pinched in desperation as he stepped toward her.

"Luckily I know what time his train is leaving, so I know when he'll be at the station, I even know the platform, and I'll tell you all of it if you can promise me... If you can swear to me that I won't regret it!" Chas was crying now too, fear and despair and the need for hope all rolled into her tired frame.

"Chas," Robert started honestly, "I can only promise you that I love him, I really do. All I want is to make him OK, take away whatever pain he has. I just want to be there for him however he'll have me and if that means one day he'll forgive me and give me another chance then I will do everything in my power not to let any of you down because I cannot lose him again. It's killing me Chas, I can't be without him, not anymore, not now."

Chas nodded her head deceptively calmly for the turmoil going on under the surface. She couldn't trust Robert, she didn't like the man, she didn't want him anywhere near her son. But this wasn't about what she wanted. This was about what Aaron wanted and it was as clear to her today as it had been all those months ago that what her little boy wanted is the blond man in front of her. What he needs, is the knowledge that the other man loves him, will stand by him. What he deserves is happiness and at the moment the only one who can offer him any of that is Robert. She doesn't know what it is Aaron is hiding, no one does, but he told Robert, he trusted him enough with that big a secret and she can only hope he doesn't let him down again.

"Platform 2, you have less than an hour!" She stated simply but Robert was out the door before she'd even spoken. She'd never seen anyone move so fast as the Sugden boy pushed passed every one else and mumbled a desperate but honest thank you as he ran out of the house without so much as grabbing his coat.


End file.
